The Blessing of Obedience

The Blessing of Obedience

For those that have been following my notes, y'all know that Papa has been dealing with me on 'Cleaning House', or 'Getting my house in order'. This week, He chose to move to a different room. Guess He decided that I'm getting the hang of this forgiveness and praying for and blessing those that have wronged me huh? Lol!

Papa has really been dealing with me on this whole tithing thing. Don't get me wrong, I do tithe, I just happen to have issues remembering to grab a check most of the time. There have been times that my faith wasn't where it should have been too. Just looking at what was in the bank and the bills that were due.. That's enough to stress you out! I have literally robbed God guys... 

"Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! But you say, 'How have we robbed You?' In tithes and offerings. You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing Me, the whole nation of you! (Malachi 3:8, 9 NASB)

Can you say, "Ouch!"?! I mean really, all He asks for is 10 percent. How hard can that be? Lets keep reading to see what else He has to say about it: 

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this," says the Lord of hosts, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows. Then I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of the ground; nor will your vine in the field cast its grapes, " says the Lord of hosts. "All the nations will call you blessed, for you shall be a delightful land," says the Lord of hosts. (Malachi 3:10-12 NASB)

We've all heard it preached probably a hundred times, and, if you're anything like me, you have a head knowledge of everything you're supposed to do as a believer, but not always a heart knowledge. How can I expect Him to bless me, answer my prayers, rebuke the devourer for me, really be able to work in my life, if I'm not walking in obedience? It's all about obedience! 

Check out the following testimonies - they were definitely faith builders for me! 

1) A few years ago, my mom was struggling with whether to pay her tithes or buy groceries for the next week. Papa told her to pay her tithes and He would take care of her. So, she purposed in her heart to obey Him and within just a little while, she received a gift that was a little more than three times what her tithe check would be! 

2) As I'm sitting here tonight in my quiet place, I get a text from a close friend that says she got a check in the mail today! This friend had already paid her tithes on Sunday, but during worship at bible study last night, she felt God tell her to give a little more so she did. 

The point in these two stories? Obedience=Blessing. Papa is faithful. All He requires is 10 percent. If you don't have any money to give, give your time to Him. Spend some time volunteering to clean the church building or whatever you can think of. Give a pen, a button, a penny you find on the street, anything to show Him you're willing to be obedient. Pretty soon, those pennies will turn in to nickels, and nickels in to dimes and so forth. 

Thank You Papa for once again being the Living Word in my life. I confess that I have sinned, I have robbed you Daddy. I'm so sorry. I ask You to forgive me. Holy Spirit, help me to walk in obedience. Bring the checks to remembrance each week so that I will no longer walk in direct disobedience, I pray. Thank You Daddy for loving me enough to bring this to my attention so that I can correct it. God, I thank You for who You are and who You're becoming in my life. Break down every wall in my heart that is hindering Your presence in my life. May everyone that I come into contact with see You in and through me. I love You so much! 

Love always, 

Your Little Girl

Connection Lost

Connection Lost

Have you ever been going along, just fine, content even, and realize that somewhere along the way, you have taken a wrong turn?  Like cell phone service in the middle of nowhere, the connection is suddenly lost, the source of the "power" no longer available.  The longer you go without that power, the faster your battery seems to go, it is drained.  Well, in all aspects of the above words, I have found myself in this exact position.  I have become content with where I am in life.  My "battery" is drained, I feel I do not have the strength to carry on. Oh, there are definitely moments where the power kicks back on, like during worship, bible study, etc - it's just everyday life that leaves you out in the middle of a desert.  This can only mean two things - 1) I need to get myself plugged back in to my Power Supply and rest in Him and 2) I'm made for more than this everyday life I have been living.  

Recently, a friend of mine told me that as she was praying one morning, she felt God tell her to tell me that I needed to read this book, "Hinds Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard.  He, Papa God, said that this is exactly where I am right now in my life.  From the moment I first opened this book, I could tell that she was right.  Much Afraid and I have an awful lot in common.  You see, Much Afraid has been commissioned by the Good Shepherd to take some risks, follow Him and develop Hinds Feet in the place of her lameness, to cross some obstacles that seem impossible to cross, leaving behind everything and everyone she has ever known.  Including (especially) her fears.  How much are we like that in our lives?  You feel a Word from The Lord, telling you that it's time to move, whether that be a new job, a new home, new friends, whatever the case may be, and next thing you know, your fears settle in.  You start to question whether you really heard from Papa, or, fear of the unknown makes you lame or panicked to the point of not being able to move forward.  All He wants is for us to trust Him, take His hand and walk with Him.  He's never going to leave us or forsake us.  So why is it so hard to take that first step??

"The Lord God is my strength, and He will make my feet like hinds' feet, and He will make me walk upon mine high places." Habakkuk 3:19

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I feel a changing of seasons - and for once, I'm not fighting it.  I've finally learned that there will be people in and out of our lives, people that we swore we would never leave and vice versa.  It may not be that you lose these people completely, just that their roles in our lives change and suddenly they are no longer front and center as they have been.  I've also realized that with each changing of season, my Papa sends me someone(s) to help make that transition a little easier.  I'm so thankful that He loves me so much.  All I can do is pray for eyes to see and ears to hear what He is saying to me during this time. 

Am I Enough?

This question always seems to haunt me... I can go days, weeks even, without thinking about it and be fine. But! (Yea, there's always a "but", huh?), something happens, someone says or does something that brings this question to life again and it's all downhill from there.

Most of you would probably never guess that I struggle with all this negativity, except for a select few of my closest friends and family (bless their hearts!), whom I appreciate so very much. You see, I try to carry myself in such a way that shows Gods light and love. How is it that I can do that if I'm not truly experiencing it for myself though? How can I truly love anyone if I don't love myself? It's not possible...

Gods Word says in Matthew 22:39 - "Love others AS WELL AS you love yourself." I've failed miserably because, though I love people, I haven't shown myself the same respect. Wow... That's a hard pill to swallow! They say the key to healing and getting better is admitting you have a problem...

Here I am Daddy, admitting that I have a problem. I repent for not loving myself, when You have commanded me to do so. I ask You to forgive me now, heal my heart and set me free, God. Show me myself through Your eyes. Show me how to love me like You do Daddy. Break these chains that bind me! Thank You for always loving me! I love You!

Love always,
Your little girl - learning to love me

(To all the English buffs, look over any typos please and thanks! ;) )

Mercy

Told y'all God was speaking to me through song lyrics... The following lyrics pretty much sum up my life right now...

This is me, being real.

Mercy by Kristene Mueller

"What shall i do with you my love
What shall i do with you
For Your loyalty to me is like
The morning clouds
Like the dew that goes away so early

What shall i do with You my love
You keep bringing me sacrifices
To ease your mind
But it's your heart that I want

Hasn't it been a long road
With disappointments
Chasing after lovers
That just throw you away

Are you done fighting now
All the love it takes to lighten you
Shame was never meant to be
Your portion

You keep bringing me sacrifices
To ease your mind
But it's your heart that I want

Though these sins are red as scarlet
I will wash them white in my mercy
Though these sins are red as scarlet
I will wash them white in my mercy"


God, help me out of this place I'm in! Show me Holy Spirit how to lay it all down and not pick it back up, to truly give my heart to Abba. I am so sick, and weary, from all of life's disappointments and struggles. I'm tired of fighting Daddy. Help me not to "grow weary in well doing", to keep pushing through when all seems hopeless or lost. I need You Daddy, to hold me and love on me, to forgive me and walk with me, to use me God. Thank You for always being here for me Abba, I can always count on You! I love You so much! Love always, Your little girl...

Promises

Well, apparently God is speaking to me thru song lyrics as of late, so here you go!

Promises by Sanctus Real

"Sometimes it's hard to keep believing
In what you can't see
That everything happens for a reason
Even the worst life brings
If you're reaching for an answer
And you don't know what to pray
Just open up the pages
Let His word be your strength

And hold on to the promises (Hold tight)
Hold on to the promises (Alright)
Jesus is alive so hold tight
Hold on to the promises

All things work for the good
Of those who love God
He holds back nothing that will heal you
Not even His own Son
His love is everlasting
His faithfulness unending
Oh, if God is for us who can be against us
So if you feel weak

Chorus

Neither life, nor death
Could separate us
From the eternal love
Of our God who saves us"


Life can sometimes throw us curveballs, things unexpectedly happen, and we are left feeling alone and lost, like no one knows or cares what we are going through. But God does. All we have to do is open up the pages of the Good Book and start reading. His love for us is made known from beginning to end! He loved us so much that "He sent His only begotten Son so that we may have life and have it everlasting"! What promises are you holding on to my friends? Are they life giving and full of good, edifying things? Or are you stuck in a rut, feeling like life isn't worth living? Daddy is waiting for you to turn to Him, so that He can wipe away those tears and fears. In case no one has told you today... Jesus loves you! Enough to die for you!

In Him,

Anna

Who am I?

I've been pondering this all day. This very question... It can make you or break you. Today it tried to break me. All I could hear was the negative - "you're not good enough", "you're not pretty or smart enough", "you're not skinny enough" and the list goes on. Questions and thoughts we've all had at one time or another.

So I asked some of my family, "Am I enough?" To which they replied, "Enough what?" and "You are wonderful, don't ever doubt it" and "Absolutely you are!"

The question was still raised, I doubted their answers. I just didn't feel like I was enough. You know what? My happiness, peace and joy comes from God alone. How can I be satisfied with the answers I receive here on earth if I'm not tuned in to Jesus through Holy Spirit and listening to what and who He says I am? I can't. Jesus says I am loved, I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am forgiven and I am free. And so much more! God, Abba, Daddy? He says I am His. What more do I need to hear!?

See... We have the power to choose how our moments are played out. The moment that negative thought crossed my mind should have been the moment I told it where to go, that it has no place in my mind, that the only things allowed there are those things that are Holy. But I didn't. You know what? I'm human. It happens. I had a song pop in my mind while in this negative state and thought I would share it with y'all. Here it is :

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You, whoa.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You.
That I belong to You.
To You.

I'm the one you love,
I'm the one you love,
That will be enough,
I'm the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.

Who I Am by Jason Gray

Fitting huh?

Father, forgive me for losing sight of who you have made me, called me to be. Thank You for patiently waiting on me to get through my little tantrum to get to that place where I could open my eyes and ears to Your voice. Thank You for loving me, for calling me Your own and guiding me. Thank You for all You've done for me. I love You so much Daddy! Love always...

Your Little Girl

Mission Minded

8/26/12

Wow, less than a month to go before we will be on our way to Honduras! Seems hard to believe...

As the time approaches, I find myself pondering, "Am I ready to go on this trip? Am I ready to be a part of touching/changing lives? Healing the sick, watching blind eyes and deaf ears open, the dead being raised to life again, etc.. As we make our requests known to our Savior?" To be completely honest... No, I'm not... The first step is admitting it, right?

What made me realize this is Ms. Becky King (Rebecca L King) in her book, "Generational Curses Unveiled". I had started reading the book a few months ago and never finished it (sorry Becky! :)), but I picked it back up this morning to get started again and this caught my eye:

"Then He said to His disciples, "The harvest is indeed plentiful, but the laborers are few. So pray to The Lord of the harvest to force out and thrust laborers into His harvest." Matthew 9:37-38 "You can't give what you don't have! If you aren't healed, then you can't help others get healed, and this is why the laborers are few."

How many of us are praying for the hurt, broken, sick, etc and not seeing many, if any, results? Many of us, myself included, jump to help our neighbors when we have our own junk we need to deal with first. "And why do you look at the speck in your brothers eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?" "Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me remove the speck from your eye" and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye." Matthew 7:3-5

Sadly, this happens all the time. All we want to see is what's going on in everyone else's lives. "Well she's lesbian, or he slept with so and so, she drinks, he does drugs." The list goes on. My point is this, don't feel like you have nothing in your own eye when you treat people differently because of their sin. The word says, "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." Matthew 7:1-2

Lord forgive me where I have failed You, where I have failed myself. I repent for looking at the specks in my friends, family and acquaintances eyes rather than taking care of the plank in my own. I repent for passing judgement on them in any way. I choose now to forgive those who have wrongfully accused me, talked about me, lied to me or on me and anything else that I have not covered. I choose to bless them now and I ask You to bless them too. I ask You to forgive me now and I thank You that all I have to do is ask.

These have just been some of my thoughts today. Maybe this will touch you as much as it did me. Until next time!

In Him,
Anna

Growing Pains

We all experience them. And they are just what the title declares... A pain! Alas, we live in a world that is constantly changing, some good changes and some bad. The good news is we have the power to determine how we will react to those changes.

We can make our lives a living hell by bucking against them, or we can embrace them and make the most of them.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." (NIV)

And Romans 8:37 says, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." (NIV)

If we are breathing, then we have been "called according to His purpose", which in turn means that "we are more than conquerors". How awesome is that?!

Also, Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them (in this case, changes), for The Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." (NIV)

So, we have a promise from God that He will never leave us, He will never forsake us. He is one that "sticks closer than a brother". Think about that for a minute... We all have at least one person that we will do absolutely anything for... Multiply that times a trillion and that still ain't going to get you close to how much God loves you and desires great and mighty things for you and through you.

Friends, choose the high road, though it may seem difficult and lonely. We have too many promises that everything is going to work for us to give up now, to throw in the towel. The thing about growing pains? Not only do they go away, but it's also proof that God knows we can become something far greater than we are right now, and so much greater than our wildest imagination and dreams ever dared to let us hope. My word to you? Dream on! Don't give up now, it's exactly what the enemy wants! I promise those growing pains are worth it! Hang in there friends...

In Him,
Anna

"Happiness depends upon ourselves". - Aristotle

A Christmas Miracle

December 25, 2012

Hey guys, I couldn't not share what happened to my mom and I last night. I realize some of you may not believe it, you will just have to take my word for it, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what I'm fixing to tell is true. There's no other way to explain it other than God gave us a Christmas miracle.

We were traveling along 117 North, going to Dublin to meet some friends at the movies, already having slightly hydroplaned a few times due to meeting people on the highway and it raining and I couldn't see the road very well, when we got to Caldwell. We were coming out of town, just getting to where the speed limit changes back to 45, when a car that is stopped at the stop sign pulls out in front of us, going straight across. We weren't even a 1/4 of a mile away when they pulled out, just a few hundred feet maybe. I slammed on brakes, knowing there wasn't anything I could do but that, and that we were surely going to t-bone this car, and yes, I'm human, I said sh*t before I realized it... Mama is looking down at her phone playing a game and didn't realize what was happening until I hit the brakes. When she looked up she started saying, "thank You Jesus!" over and over. We both braced for an impact that never came. We both KNEW we were going to hit this car, even as I turned the wheel to the left at the last second, there was no way humanly possible that we did not hit the car. I know that my Daddy was looking out for us last night because we went right through the back of it, not a scratch on us, only a little stiffness from tensing up. As we were skidding across the highway, we never hydroplaned (it was still raining pretty good),not even when I turned the wheel. I don't know if the car ever saw us, they never put on brakes or sped up.

Mama told me on the way home that she almost told me at 5pm that she wasn't going to go, but she never did because she just felt like she needed to be with me. I'm so glad she was, because had she not been with me I can't say that I would have been driving as carefully as I was, gotta take care of mama ya know :). All I could think when that car pulled out was that my mama was in the car with me and I didn't want anything to happen to her. You see, I've lost her briefly already when she fell dead in the foyer of my old church, and that is not a moment that I'm ready to face again anytime soon. Nobody can tell me that God isn't real and He doesn't love me or He doesn't perform miracles. He brought my mama back to life not just once, but twice, and not to mention all the countless other miracles He's performed in our lives, including last night.

I was sharing this with another friend of mine this morning (Casey Hutcheson), and this is the reply I got from her:
"Wow, I had a dream about a bad car crash just like that yesterday at about 6:15pm! In the crash I just knew I was going to hit the car coming at me, but I heard God say, "you're going to be ok." I tensed and braced for impact but then the other car never hit me and I couldn't figure out why it didn't. It was because I was in the shadow of the Almighty!" She then asked me what direction we were going and I told her north and she said that that was the direction she was traveling in her dream. I know God gave her that dream as confirmation to me that I'm not crazy, and that He was watching over us last night. Psalm 91:1 (AMP) says, "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty (Whose power no foe can withstand)".

Thank You Daddy for being with us last night, and always. Thank You for our Christmas miracle! I give You all honor and praise Daddy. I humbly bow down and give You ALL of me now and I ask You to use me in ways that I never imagined possible. Forgive me for those moments I miss Your still small voice, where I knew I should have said this or prayed that. Forgive me for all my disobedience, as I forgive myself for being disobedient to You. Teach me Holy Spirit, Your ways. Rise up in me as I've never allowed before, I giveYou permission. Thank You sweet Jesus for dying on the cross for us so that we can come and ask forgiveness and be forgiven. Thank You for taking on the sins of this world for us Jesus, You are so awesome and may I never forget that or take You for granted again. I love You so much! Love, a very grateful and humbled me...

Daddy's Heart

Daddy's Heart

So I'm driving home yesterday, listening to worship music and somewhat absentmindedly, I'm singing the song that's currently playing on my playlist. That song is Pursuit from Jesus Cultures newest album, Live from New York. Here's the lyrics so you have an idea of what I'm singing -


Strip everything away till all I have is You
Undo the veils till all I see is You
Strip everything away till all I have is You
Undo the veils till all I see is You

I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence
I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

I'm pressing in to You so do not pass me by
I'm breaking through the boundaries
I will not be denied

I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence
I will pursue You, I will pursue Your presence

Open my eyes, search me inside, I cant live
without Your presence, I can't live without
Your presence

Awesome song right? Of course it usually always ushers me into His Presence. But yesterday was different. It hit me like a ton of bricks... How many times are we singing along with a song on the radio (in this case my playlist), not paying attention to what we are singing? I have a bad habit of it. I tune everything out, usually only listening to the music (instrument) part and being lost in my thoughts, the cares of this world, my wants and needs, my relationships (earthly), my future... Notice a pattern here? The infamous "I" comes into play A LOT... So, I was singing this song and the lyrics came into focus in my mind. My hearts cry really is for Abba to "Strip everything away, till all I have is Him... Till all I can see is Him". My hearts cry is to pursue Him with everything within me, to get to that point that ALL I need is His presence.

You know what I realized though? Every time I am absentmindedly singing these lyrics, or any song that calls on Him for that matter, that He is waiting right there for me, yearning for me to let go and fall into His arms. Very seldom do I turn loose of all "my" stuff... And it breaks His heart!

God, I ask You to forgive me for calling on You and then not trusting in You. I am pressing in to You now Abba, so please do not pass me by! I'm breaking through the boundaries, I will not be denied! I ask You to open my eyes and search me inside. I can not live without Your presence Daddy. Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Help me to be more Christ centered in EVERYTHING. I love You so much Daddy!

Love always,
Your little girl