My Take On 13 Reasons Why

I've heard so much about the Netflix Original Series, 13 Reasons Why.  Both good and bad, so I thought I would watch it for myself and see what all the hype was about.  (Disclaimer: I normally wouldn't watch anything past the first f-bomb, but I chose to see what the underlying meaning was and trudged on through all 13 episodes.)

The main character here, Hannah Baker, proceeds to record her '13 reasons why' she felt the need to kill herself. Each tape has a new subject, what they did, how it made her feel and pretty much what they should have done differently (from an outsiders point of view anyway). What it boiled down to ultimately was bullying.  There was only one person in the whole series that wasn't necessarily on the tapes for anything bad he had done, it was because he was afraid to love her and she felt that he was too good for her. 

A friend and I were discussing the series earlier and we both came to the conclusion that there really wasn't a lot of what was said or done that Hannah couldn't have let roll off her back had she been strong enough to do so.  One major instance that would mess anyone up, was Hannah seeing her friend get raped and then later in the series getting raped herself by the same guy. Being raped breaks something inside of you, part of your soul even. I've never been raped, but I've had my share of guys trying to take advantage of me and being forceful when I've said no, then get mad when they realized that I was serious so I can somewhat imagine the agony they went through.


Me saying that Hannah could have let some things roll off her back is in no way saying what those kids said and did to her was okay. Bullying is never okay, I don't care who you are. You are not being cute or funny.

I have been the victim one too many times myself over the years. I can tell you that your words and actions can literally tear someone down to nothing. My parents split/divorced when I was 7/8 years old. That automatically made me an outsider at school because there really weren't a lot of kids around my age that had experienced that yet. I lived out in the country, about 10 miles or so, with very few people around so I didn't really have a lot of kids to play with either. 

Softball became an outlet for me. Many people helped out by picking me up at my moms work and taking me to practices and games, but there were times that no one wanted to help out with me. My grandfather would wind up being the person to take me to and from tournaments, games or practices because no one else would. Maybe I took some of that wrong back then because I was young and didn't understand, but it didn't stop the hurt. (Side note: my mom worked a couple jobs at the time to ensure that I had what I needed and was there when she could be, but sometimes she had to work late and had to depend on someone else to help with me.)

Fast forward to middle and high school. Certain boys began calling me "Manna" and "Wildebeast", telling me how ugly and fat I was. I've even had a guy spit in my face before because I sat down (not knowing) somewhere that he was going to sit. 

Anyway, enough of my story for now. I could go on for awhile about it but it's time to get to the "meat" of why I felt compelled to write this blog. 

Proverbs 18:21 tells us that , "Life and death are in the power of the tongue.." and Matthew 12:36-37 says, "But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." These are some pretty powerful words y'all. Our words can be the difference between someone committing suicide or saying, "Maybe someone does care" and living to see another day. 

I'm no saint. Especially when I was younger. I've made fun of people and said hurtful things to them that could have very well broken them. Thank God for spiritual maturity and a God that loves us enough to allow us to feel convicted and be able to pray and repent, right?

I've said all of that to say this: please, watch your words and how you treat people. You never know what they are already going through and how what you say or do will affect them. Do you want to be responsible for pushing them over the edge? You may say that words are just that, words. But as stated in the above Bible verse,  we are going to give account for EVERY idle word we have spoken and if our words caused someone to commit suicide, how do you think our heavenly Father is going to feel about that? We certainly won't be adding a jewel in our crowns for those words or deeds.

No, I don't think that bullying is the only reason people choose to end their lives.  There are some things that are just too much to handle for them, things they carry for years and can't get past. Things like the death of a loved one - child, spouse, close friend, etc. Divorce, cheating, lying - honestly, the list could go on.

One of the biggest things that I myself have struggled with goes along with the subject throughout this blog. The enemy uses idle words and thoughts against us. "I felt like no one wanted me around" is a big one he has a field day with on me. "See? No one wants you anyway. Why don't you just get up to at least 100mph and veer off the road? I'll handle the rest. It will be fast and easy and you won't ever have to feel that way again." Man. How many times has he used that one against me? It used to be quite often honestly. I never had the nerve to attempt it though, thank God. One day I came across this scripture: "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ," 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 and "Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither life nor death, nor powers, nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39. Know what I realized? I didn't have to listen when satan went to whispering in my ear that I wasn't good enough or I wasn't wanted, amid other things. I now had the power to use Jesus' own words on him and tell him to "Get behind me". 

If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, bullying or anything along those lines, know this - I'm praying for you and I care if you are here. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need someone to talk to. I'm in your corner. I know this has been a rather lengthy post and if you have made it this far - thank you for hanging in there. Love you all!

Anna