(Disclaimer: This is a post from April 21, 2015 that I just realized was never published here. Going back and reading it made me realize what a jewel it was. Hope y'all enjoy it!)
The majority of my life I have lived in, made decisions from and cowered in fear. Sure, there have been brave moments, times where some would have dropped everything and ran in the opposite direction as fast as they could. For the most part though, fear has driven every aspect of my life.
I say that enough is enough. I’m so sick and tired of worrying about if people like me, approve of me or think I am fat or ugly, wondering if I am good enough for God to use. I’m also sick of living life every day stuck in the same rut - get up, go to work, go to church on the days we have services and go home to go to bed and get up and do it all over again. Where is the adventure in that?! Has God called us to this mundane life? I don't think so.
A friend and I were talking earlier about life - my life to be exact. I told her that I have been praying for the last 5-6 years specifically asking God what He wanted me to do next and I feel like I’m on some waiting list (okay so I didn’t word it exactly like that, it just fits now…) that maybe He’s forgotten. Don’t we all feel this way at some point? We get restless and frustrated waiting on God to do what we know He is going to do. God’s timing is perfect, we need only be still (have patience even when we don’t feel like we have much more to go on) and trust Him to take care of us.
This same friend said something very profound to me. (I have actually heard it many times, but the story that follows is a pretty awesome revelation/illustration.) She told me that I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone, I may stick my big toe out for a minute but that’s all that I am willing to stick out there. (She thinks she knows me or something…)
Recently, she went on a trip to Las Vegas. While she was there she jumped off of an 855 foot building because she’s an adrenaline junkie (she also has a bucket list) and quite honestly, sometimes, I think she is just plain crazy, lol! She told me that she was pretty sure had I been there with her, she could have talked me into doing it too. See? I told y’all she was crazy…. The hardest part of doing this jump was having the courage to take that step, to leap off of the building, trusting that the safety precautions the staff took was going to bring her safely to the ground. Once she took the plunge, it was nowhere near as bad as she thought it may be. Matter of fact, she said that she didn’t fall at a very fast pace at all. So that thing that she had began to work herself up over? It wasn’t that bad after all… Quite fun to be exact!
That's how it is with faith though, right? We stand teetering on the edge of something so amazing yet we don't see it because we can't make ourselves take that one small step, to plunge into possibly the greatest move of God we have ever seen. One small step could lead you into your destiny. One act of courageous faith in the place of fear could lead you to your future spouse, a new job, a new town, anything really. So why are we so afraid to stick more than our big toe out there? I'm still fighting with myself on this one but I do know that there's nothing my Daddy and I can’t handle together.
Until next time...
Blessings and favor to all of you!
P.S. I read a blog post from a friend of mine last night that is ultimately dealing with the same thing right now - fear - and I thought I would share some of her thoughts with you because they hit home with me.
"Ultimately, we discussed fear, and how fear doesn’t exist of God. Fear exists because of man. We create the fear that lives within us, and our fear limits God. Most of the time fear is fueled by our own comfort. Initially, I think of comfort as physical things. Maybe we are afraid to give up the physical things that make our life comfortable. However, the more I contemplated how I was limiting God the more I saw my insecurities.” - Lana Rogers
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